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It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
News Headlines Not Worth Printing:
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies [The Los Angeles Times, March 2]
Click HERE to view the "Who's More Evil" vote results!
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The Survey
When was the last time you used a spork?
Want to take the next survey?
You may have noticed the randomly generated tidbits viewable at the top of each EvilPasta page. Those statistics are based on the results of input from users during last week's issue of EvilPasta.
We'd love to hear about you at EvilPasta Interactive!
To participate in EvilPasta's reader surveys, simply look at the right-hand side of any page within the website for the light-green sections labeled "The Survey" or white sections titled "Feedback."
Click the response which best describes you, then hit the submit button at the bottom of the box.
Your votes in each "Survey" will be automatically tallied once you submit if there are enough votes to count; final results will be released in next month's issue of EvilPasta.
Usually, we give you more than one chance to interact within every issue of EvilPasta. Once you submit your response to a survey, you'll see a link to ANOTHER survey. By all means, fill that one out too!
Feedback Results for Edition #15
Readers gave last month's Issue #15 an average rating of 3.3 out of 5 stars. That amounts to a 65% approval rating.
Stars
%
5
29%
4
22%
3
22%
2
10%
1
6%
0
11%
Note: Rating statistics are now compiled based upon the cumulative results of each individual feedback survey, which can be found on the right-hand side of each content page.
Reader Survey Results for Edition #15
The Survey
When was the last time you used a floppy disk?
today: 3.70%
sometime this month: 9.88%
within the year: 19.75%
a year or so: 24.69%
more than 2 years ago: 41.98%
The Survey
How often do you cook using an oven or stove (excluding microwave)?
at least once a day: 22.00%
a few times a week: 40.00%
once a week or so: 13.00%
maybe once a month: 15.00%
never: 10.00%
The Survey
When was the last time you listened to a cassette tape?
this week: 10.78%
within 6 months: 15.57%
within the year: 7.78%
within 2-5 years: 25.15%
over 5 years ago: 40.72%
This Month's Articles...
10 Accident Reports
Interesting actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.
Gasoline Conservation for Dummies
Save gas: As summer driving season approaches, let's think about how to save big bucks on gasoline.
Clever Students, Clever Teachers
We bring you these reports in a never-ending race of wits between students and teachers as the two groups strive to out-smart eachother.
Story of Proud Hick from Melcher, IA
Designated driver? No way. Only a person from Iowa could think of this...
In The News: Indian Eunuchs Help Collect Taxes
Actual stories... More of the latest news that actually happened and was actually reported in the news from the EvilPasta News archives.
Application for Jerry Springer Show
Want to be on the Jerry Springer Show? Here's what we presume to be a sample application.
Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men [The Sunday Oregonian, September 24]
Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete [The Miami Herald, July 3]
Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons [Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6]
How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Hart [Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5]
Fish Lurk In Streams [Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29]
