A whopping 11% of EvilPastaers last listened to a cassette tape this week!
[Find Full Statistics Here]

The reason we put cheese in cheese ravioli.
July 2k9

Edition #16

Rambunctious Ravioli

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"Who put the violin in the violin case?"
famous last words
of a mafia hitman

Where Is EvilPasta?
EvilPasta on location in Castle ROck, Colorado [Click Here for More]

Castle Rock, CO
BP station on E. Castle Pines Pkwy.
Exit 188 off I-25
7610 N. Debbie Lane
November 2k3

This Month's Articles...
10 Accident Reports
Interesting actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.

Gasoline Conservation for Dummies
Save gas: As summer driving season approaches, let's think about how to save big bucks on gasoline.


It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.


Clever Students, Clever Teachers
We bring you these reports in a never-ending race of wits between students and teachers as the two groups strive to out-smart eachother.


Story of Proud Hick from Melcher, IA
Designated driver? No way. Only a person from Iowa could think of this...

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?


In The News: Indian Eunuchs Help Collect Taxes
Actual stories... More of the latest news that actually happened and was actually reported in the news from the EvilPasta News archives.

Application for Jerry Springer Show
Want to be on the Jerry Springer Show? Here's what we presume to be a sample application.


News Headlines Not Worth Printing:

• Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies [The Los Angeles Times, March 2]
• Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men [The Sunday Oregonian, September 24]
• Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete [The Miami Herald, July 3]
• Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons [Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6]
• How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Hart [Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5]
• Fish Lurk In Streams [Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29]


"Britain is not an island...well, yes it is, but..."
Unidentified MP
on BBC Radio 4

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