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	"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf." Tug McGraw asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

	Where Is EvilPasta? McGregor, IA overlooking Main Street from the Little Switzerland Inn April 2k5

This Month's Articles...

	GM's Brilliant Airbag Contest With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 2001, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday.

	Frustrated Robber Leaves After Cashier Laughs At His Mask What would you think if Pluto tried to rob you? A clerk at a Pennsylvania convenience store thought it was hilarious.

	Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

	New Way to Get That Job Use this response to dreaded rejection letters during your next job hunt.

	George Costanza's Tips for Working Tips for maintaining appearances as a busy, useful, productive, employee at your workplace.

	Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.

	New Element Discovered The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists. Read more...

	Maybe You Should Just Stay Home Sometimes people make you wonder. EvilPasta recommends staying home and keeping your mouth shut.

	Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

	Amusing Irrelevant Facts Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. Let's learn some more purely useless information...

	"Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move around, unlike fixed launchers." Katie Couric NBC News

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