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The Survey • Where do you place among your siblings? oldest child middle child youngest child only child • Want to take the next survey? Click HERE for Survey I. Be My Friend ...on Facebook! Join EvilPasta's growing group of Facebook friends! Friend EvilPasta's Facebook profile here. You'll get to join a social network of other EvilPasta freaks just like you! Plus, you'll get to go behind the scenes a little bit and get access to some special fun little EvilPasta-related things.

	"President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush." Hampton Pearson news reporter, WBZ-TV

	Where Is EvilPasta? somewhere between Grand Isle, VT and Plattsburgh, NY on an auto/passenger commuter ferry in Lake Champlain June 2k3

This Month's Articles...

	All-Purpose Apology Form The most effective method of apology for your next great stupid mistake!

	15 Greatest Metaphors and Similes Here are some not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our students... or at least some very creative ones, at that.

	Fat-free muffins taste a lot better if you put gobs of butter on them.

	Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported.

	DEA Agent Shoots Self in Gun Safety Class The Drug Enforcement Administration agent was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.

	Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAÏVE

	As Much Use As... This web site is as much use as a snowplow in Bangkok ...and other similar useful expressions.

	Advertising Slogans Ever wonder what all that advertising lingo really means?

	"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." Jason Kidd upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

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