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	"President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush." Hampton Pearson news reporter, WBZ-TV

	Where Is EvilPasta? McGregor, IA overlooking Main Street from the Little Switzerland Inn April 2k5

This Month's Articles...

	All-Purpose Apology Form The most effective method of apology for your next great stupid mistake!

	15 Greatest Metaphors and Similes Here are some not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our students... or at least some very creative ones, at that.

	Fat-free muffins taste a lot better if you put gobs of butter on them.

	Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported.

	DEA Agent Shoots Self in Gun Safety Class The Drug Enforcement Administration agent was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.

	Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAÏVE

	As Much Use As... This web site is as much use as a snowplow in Bangkok ...and other similar useful expressions.

	Advertising Slogans Ever wonder what all that advertising lingo really means?

	"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." Jason Kidd upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

	Be an EvilPasta Contributor! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. Can you think of some funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com? Then you might be just right for the EvilPasta team! Join the EvilPasta team, and be among a select group of contributors who posess the creative and comical talents needed to make it into EvilPasta.com! You'll have access to contribute your funny thoughts, and then get credit for them when they're published. Apply HERE, and we'll send you further information so that you can log in and test your pasta genius. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. Apply HERE!