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The Survey III • Which handwriting instrument do you prefer? traditional pencil mechanical pencil colored pencil ballpoint pen gel pen felt-tip pen fountain pen sharpie marker crayon • Have you completed all of EvilPasta's surveys for this month? Want to go back and look at running results? Click HERE to view Survey I. Be My Friend ...on Facebook! Join EvilPasta's growing group of Facebook friends! Friend EvilPasta's Facebook profile here. You'll get to join a social network of other EvilPasta freaks just like you! Plus, you'll get to go behind the scenes a little bit and get access to some special fun little EvilPasta-related things.

	"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." Mariah Carey

	Picture Of The Month Sometimes you have to wonder about these fortunes.

	15 "My First Book" Children's Books That Never Got Printed You shouldn't have trouble imagining why these books didn't make it into your local children's bookstore.

	Some Zagat Restaurant Survey Comments Too Acidic for Regular Consumption Based on the opinions of over 250,000 respondents, the Zagat Restaurant Survey provides some caustic remarks that the company's lawyers wouldn't let them print if they named the restaurants. Some are included within...

	It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

	As Much Use As... Twenty creative suggestions for insluting "You're as much use as..." expressions to work into your vocabulary.

	Stupid Criminals: Bank Robber Forgets His Cash Proudly delivering your regular dose of stupid criminal acts, we have this news item for you from Des Moines, Iowa.

	Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. Anamaniacs

	15 Ways To Get Rid of a Blind Date This is the kind of behavior that adds character! Use these suggestions only as a last resort... or as common practice... whatever suits you.

	15 More Ways To Deal With Stress Your second therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. Again, we weren't.

	"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

	Be an EvilPasta Contributor! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. Can you think of some funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com? Then you might be just right for the EvilPasta team! Join the EvilPasta team, and be among a select group of contributors who posess the creative and comical talents needed to make it into EvilPasta.com! You'll have access to contribute your funny thoughts, and then get credit for them when they're published. Apply HERE, and we'll send you further information so that you can log in and test your pasta genius. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. Apply HERE!