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The Survey II • For how long have you owned a personal computer? less than a year less than two years less than five years between five and ten years over ten years I don’t own one; I'm using some one else's right now. • Want to take the next survey? Click HERE for Survey III. Be a Contributor! Got a good sense of humor, spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness? Be a contributor to the madness! If you can think of funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com, you're just right for the EvilPasta team. Be among a select group of contributors who posess the creative and comical talents needed to make it into EvilPasta.com! You'll have access to contribute your funny thoughts, and then get credit for them when they're published. Apply HERE, and we'll send you further info so you can join in and test your pasta genius.

	"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." Mariah Carey

	Picture Of The Month Sometimes you have to wonder about these fortunes.

	15 "My First Book" Children's Books That Never Got Printed You shouldn't have trouble imagining why these books didn't make it into your local children's bookstore.

	Some Zagat Restaurant Survey Comments Too Acidic for Regular Consumption Based on the opinions of over 250,000 respondents, the Zagat Restaurant Survey provides some caustic remarks that the company's lawyers wouldn't let them print if they named the restaurants. Some are included within...

	It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

	As Much Use As... Twenty creative suggestions for insluting "You're as much use as..." expressions to work into your vocabulary.

	Stupid Criminals: Bank Robber Forgets His Cash Proudly delivering your regular dose of stupid criminal acts, we have this news item for you from Des Moines, Iowa.

	Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. Anamaniacs

	15 Ways To Get Rid of a Blind Date This is the kind of behavior that adds character! Use these suggestions only as a last resort... or as common practice... whatever suits you.

	15 More Ways To Deal With Stress Your second therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. Again, we weren't.

	"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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