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The Survey • Which best describes where you live? house mobile home apartment dormitory motor home/RV hotel/motel in a van, down by the river other • Would you like to take the next survey? Click HERE for Issue 7's Survey II. Find Out First! Get an e-mail the moment a new issue of EvilPasta comes out! Sign up HERE!

	"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." Department of Social Services Greenville, South Carolina

	Picture Of The Week Everything you could imagine for your programming needs.

	Murphy's Law 101 For your benefit, EvilPasta offers this continuation of our introductory crash course exploring how the laws of how life tend to not work out.

	The town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it... Punch Lines: Beethoven

	All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

	Nice Try At English Here are some signs and notices written in English -- more or less -- that were discovered throughout the world.

	An elderly lady upon return from shopping found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun, and screamed that she knows how to use it and that she will if required... Carjacking Foiled

	I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

	Pass This Test The deputy told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket...

	From The News: Much Ado About Nothing at Edinburgh Fringe The Theater of Relativity has come up with the ultimate nihilistic experience on stage -- a play called "Sweet FA" -- that is the talk of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival...

	Women should not have children after 35. Really, 35 children are enough.

	Keep these generalizations in mind for when it comes time to enter the business world. 7 Rules Of Business

	"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." George W. Bush Reuters, May 5, 2000

	Be an EvilPasta Contributor! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. Can you think of some funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com? Then you might be just right for the EvilPasta team! Join the EvilPasta team, and be among a select group of contributors who posess the creative and comical talents needed to make it into EvilPasta.com! You'll have access to contribute your funny thoughts, and then get credit for them when they're published. Apply HERE, and we'll send you further information so that you can log in and test your pasta genius. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. Apply HERE!