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* Results * Write-In Results * Cast Your Vote! The Survey • When was the last time you used a spork? today sometime this month within the year over a year ago never/not that I recall • Want to take the next survey? Click HERE for Survey III. *you*@EvilPasta.com? Tired of junk mail and unreliable e-mail providers? Just want a cool e-mail address? Sign up TODAY for your very own EvilPasta.com e-mail account!

	Results for "Who's More Evil?" • Here's what readers thought about the evilness of these public figures... (higher percentage = more votes over other people when compared head-to-head) Candidate % of total votes George W. Bush President, United States 8.13% Adolph Hitler Nazi German dictator 7.82% Barney the purple dinosaur 7.39% Sadaam Hussein ex-Iraqi dictator 6.85% Osama Bin Laden al-Qaeda leader 6.48% Rush Limbaugh political radio personality 6.36% Donald Rumsfeld Secretary of Defense 5.38% Martha Stewart Martha Stewart, Inc. 5.26% Fidel Castro Cuban dictator 5.20% Bill Gates Founder, Microsoft 5.01% Bill O'Riley political television personality 5.01% Satan the devil himself 4.95% Tom Ridge Secretary of Homeland Security 4.40% Geraldo Rivera television personality 4.16% Alan Greenspan Chairman, Federal Reserve Board 4.03% Condoleezza Rice National Security Advisor 3.97% Arnold Schwarzenegger Governor, State of California 3.06% Tony Blair British Prime Minister 2.69% • Write in nominations... Candidate % of total votes Andrew Crosh 0.43% Brittany Lyon 0.31% John Kerry 0.24% Spongebob Squarepants 0.18% Alexis Rosario 2 votes Brandon "Millatime" Miller 2 votes Triple H 2 votes Me!!! 2 votes Adam Vos 2 votes Your Mom 2 votes Dick Cheeney U.S. Vice President 1 vote John Ashcroft U.S. Attorney General 1 vote Napoleon (a Frenchman) 1 vote The Olson Twins 1 vote Ozzy Osborne 1 vote Phillip Morris Agency 1 vote McDonalds 1 vote my math techer 1 vote biology teachers 1 vote Barbara Streisand 1 vote The Pope 1 vote management 1 vote Steven Schroder 1 vote Jaque Sharaque 1 vote Strom Thurmond 1 vote anyone else ever— Alan Greenspan is a genious 1 vote Norm Coleman 1 vote Murray Eccleston 1 vote Casey Faber 1 vote Amy Harms 1 vote James Hetfield 1 vote Anastatia 1 vote Alex Baldwin 1 vote Booyah Man 1 vote Jamai 1 vote Wayne Newton 1 vote Martha Russell 1 vote Kelly Mayer 1 vote Sinbad 1 vote George Streinbuenner 1 vote James Taylor 1 vote Lucas Torvalds 1 vote the writer of this site 1 vote

	Who Is More Evil? Bill Gates Founder, Microsoft Condoleezza Rice National Security Advisor • Vote for the character whom you consider to be the most evil of the above two randomly generated selections. • Feel free to vote as many times as you like! A new pair will be generated each time you vote. • If the same person appears matched against himself, reload the page. • Results will be manually updated periodically. Check back often!

This Month's Articles...

	10 Accident Reports Interesting actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.

	Gasoline Conservation for Dummies Save gas: As summer driving season approaches, let's think about how to save big bucks on gasoline.

	It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

	Clever Students, Clever Teachers We bring you these reports in a never-ending race of wits between students and teachers as the two groups strive to out-smart eachother.

	Story of Proud Hick from Melcher, IA Designated driver? No way. Only a person from Iowa could think of this...

	How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

	In The News: Indian Eunuchs Help Collect Taxes Actual stories... More of the latest news that actually happened and was actually reported in the news from the EvilPasta News archives.

	Application for Jerry Springer Show Want to be on the Jerry Springer Show? Here's what we presume to be a sample application.

	News Headlines Not Worth Printing: • Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies [The Los Angeles Times, March 2] • Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men [The Sunday Oregonian, September 24] • Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete [The Miami Herald, July 3] • Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons [Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6] • How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Hart [Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5] • Fish Lurk In Streams [Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29]