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9 Ways To Be Offensive At A Funeral
• Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.
• Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
• Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
• At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
• Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
• Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood.
• Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for back-taxes.
• Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
• Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts.
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