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The reason we put cheese in cheese ravioli.
December 2k7

Edition #16

Rambunctious Ravioli

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Clever Students, Clever Teachers
We bring you these reports in a never-ending race of wits between students and teachers as the two groups strive to out-smart eachother.


Philosophy professor at the front of the classroom with the following final exam question written on the blackboard:
"How do you plan to make a living with a philosophy degree?"


The story around Harvard was that there was a graduate Math course whose final always consisted of "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."
Then one year, a student answered as follows:
The exam is: "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."
The answer is: "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."
His reasoning was that since that was the best exam the professor could write, it certainly ought to be good enough for a student. He got an A. The professor specifically prohibited that answer from then on.


While taking a psychology course in college, the teacher had a habit of putting the following questions on an exam:
Ask yourself a question and answer it.
Being a math major, I asked myself "Solve the following differential equation [* equation deleted *] under the following conditions [* conditions deleted *]" and proceeded to solve it.
The next day, I stopped by the math office to see one of the professors. He told me, "Go away, I'm stuck grading your stupid psych exam."
I got full credit, and the psych professor never put that question on an exam again.


A certain professor was known for being an easy grader. The grades he gave for a survey course (i.e. the type where you are expected to learn generalities and not specifics) were based entirely on two exams, and the stuff on the exams was entirely covered in the textbook. So showing up for class wasn't a big deal.
However, this started to get out of hand. As word of the course spread, at each semester, there was a larger block of students who would show up infrequently or not at all, except for the exam days. Finally, it got so bad that about half of the students one term never showed before the midterm. On the day of the midterm, everyone came in and a graduate assistant handed out exams, "Prof x. is sick, so he asked me to give you your exams."
There was only one question in the exam booklets: "Which one of the pictures below is of professor x?"
Obviously, the students who never showed up didn't know and had to guess. Many failed, while the students who had been showing up regularly got A's.


A certain student was taking an exam in Trinity College (old college, about 400 years old). In the middle of the exam, he called a porter and requested his pint of ale. The porter, of course, just looked at him.
Our hero then produced a copy of the *old* regulations which stipulated that a gentleman was entitled to this type of refreshment.
The college authorities, fearing more expensive and disruptive episodes in the future, checked the college regulations. They then provided our man with his glass of ale, but promptly fined him for not wearing his ceremonial sword.


A chemistry professor at Idaho State University had the following as an extra credit question on an exam:
An age-old question is "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" Answer that question given the following:
Each angel requires an area equal to a circle with a diameter the size of a gold atom in which to dance.
The pin in question has a head which is a circular plane with a diameter of 0.5 mm.
Make any other assumptions necessary to solve the problem.
The professor was sorry to admit that he had to give full credit to the following answer:
I assume that angels do not exist.
The answer is 0.



This Month's Articles...
10 Accident Reports
Interesting actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.

Gasoline Conservation for Dummies
Save gas: As summer driving season approaches, let's think about how to save big bucks on gasoline.


It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.


Clever Students, Clever Teachers
We bring you these reports in a never-ending race of wits between students and teachers as the two groups strive to out-smart eachother.


Story of Proud Hick from Melcher, IA
Designated driver? No way. Only a person from Iowa could think of this...

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?


In The News: Indian Eunuchs Help Collect Taxes
Actual stories... More of the latest news that actually happened and was actually reported in the news from the EvilPasta News archives.

Application for Jerry Springer Show
Want to be on the Jerry Springer Show? Here's what we presume to be a sample application.


News Headlines Not Worth Printing:

Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies [The Los Angeles Times, March 2]
Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men [The Sunday Oregonian, September 24]
Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete [The Miami Herald, July 3]
Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons [Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6]
How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Hart [Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5]
Fish Lurk In Streams [Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29]


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