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	The Pirate A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch. "How'd you end up with a peg-leg?" asks the sailor. "I was swept overboard in a storm," says the pirate, "A shark bit off me whole leg." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?" "We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut me hand clean off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "And the eye patch?" "A seagull dropping fell in me eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Yes", Said the pirate. "It was the first day with the hook."

This Month's Articles...

	Classified Ads Not edited for grammar, content, or clarity. Obviously. Take a look.

	More Murphy's Law 101 Almost becoming a staple of EvilPasta... Murphy's Law is more than simply "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." Let's expand on it just a little bit.

	Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

	The Pirate One of two obligatory punchline jokes this month. Short and sweet.

	Alien Transmission The second of two obligatory punchline jokes this month. Let's see if you get it.

	Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

	15 Amusing Irrelevant Facts we tried it before, and it didn't seem like y'all hated it too much. Let's learn some more purely useless information...

	Price of Fame Let's find out if we have any readers from Dallas, Texas. How? Offend them.

	One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. —A.A. Milne

	Stupid Student Essays 12 excerpts. We all have a lot to learn.

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