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The reason we put cheese in cheese ravioli.
May-June 2k6

Edition #14

•Miracle Marinara•

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12 More Great Metaphors and Similes
• The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

• He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

• Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

• It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

• The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!"

• The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

• She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

• Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

• The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

• He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

• The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

• The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Click Here for more Great Metaphors and Similes...

This Month's Articles...
Farmer Sows Corn In Search For Love: Man Plants Personal Ad In Corn
A western New York farmer was looking for love. So he wrote a personals ad... in his cow pasture.

Stupidity or Irony?
Is it really evil irony, or simple stupidity in action here?

A day without sunshine is like night.


12 More Great Metaphors and Similes
Here are some more not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our minds... or at least some very creative ones, at that.


15 Ways To Annoy Men
Yes, it's another play on gender. But we all know there's truth in it ...that's why we laugh.


What if there were no hypothetical questions?


Letters to Landlords
Please fix our toilet so that we can bathe our children ...and other interesting requests from tenants to landlords.

U.K. Soldiers Serving In War To Get Germ-Fighting Underwear
Defense officials in Britain are briefing the public on a new wrinkle in the fight against the heat and dust of Iraq and Afghanistan...

It's amazing how many people in that office are trying to resolve all their childhood neuroses ... The best thing to major in if you want to understand Congress is developmental psychology.
Former congressman Dick Armey discussing his ex-colleagues in The Washington Post


Cable Company Calls Woman Nasty Name On Bill
Philadelphia-based Comcast is apologizing for an insulting epithet on a bill.


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