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The reason we put cheese in cheese ravioli.
May-June 2k6

Edition #14

•Miracle Marinara•

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Stupidity or Irony?
• The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

• A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

• A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

• Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

• Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

This Month's Articles...
Farmer Sows Corn In Search For Love: Man Plants Personal Ad In Corn
A western New York farmer was looking for love. So he wrote a personals ad... in his cow pasture.

Stupidity or Irony?
Is it really evil irony, or simple stupidity in action here?

A day without sunshine is like night.


12 More Great Metaphors and Similes
Here are some more not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our minds... or at least some very creative ones, at that.


15 Ways To Annoy Men
Yes, it's another play on gender. But we all know there's truth in it ...that's why we laugh.


What if there were no hypothetical questions?


Letters to Landlords
Please fix our toilet so that we can bathe our children ...and other interesting requests from tenants to landlords.

U.K. Soldiers Serving In War To Get Germ-Fighting Underwear
Defense officials in Britain are briefing the public on a new wrinkle in the fight against the heat and dust of Iraq and Afghanistan...

It's amazing how many people in that office are trying to resolve all their childhood neuroses ... The best thing to major in if you want to understand Congress is developmental psychology.
Former congressman Dick Armey discussing his ex-colleagues in The Washington Post


Cable Company Calls Woman Nasty Name On Bill
Philadelphia-based Comcast is apologizing for an insulting epithet on a bill.


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