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	New Way to Get That Job Subject: Human Resources Dear Hiring Manager, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your companies' outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants. Sincerely, Interviewee

This Month's Articles...

	GM's Brilliant Airbag Contest With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 2001, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday.

	Frustrated Robber Leaves After Cashier Laughs At His Mask What would you think if Pluto tried to rob you? A clerk at a Pennsylvania convenience store thought it was hilarious.

	Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

	New Way to Get That Job Use this response to dreaded rejection letters during your next job hunt.

	George Costanza's Tips for Working Tips for maintaining appearances as a busy, useful, productive, employee at your workplace.

	Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.

	New Element Discovered The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists. Read more...

	Maybe You Should Just Stay Home Sometimes people make you wonder. EvilPasta recommends staying home and keeping your mouth shut.

	Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

	Amusing Irrelevant Facts Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. Let's learn some more purely useless information...

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