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June 2k5

Edition #12

•Carbs Are Good•

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Advertising Slogans
NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

RUGGED - Too heavy to lift!

LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than rugged.

ENERGY SAVING - When the power switch is off.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.


This Month's Articles...

All-Purpose Apology Form
The most effective method of apology for your next great stupid mistake!


15 Greatest Metaphors and Similes
Here are some not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our students... or at least some very creative ones, at that.

Fat-free muffins taste a lot better if you put gobs of butter on them.


Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep
It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported.

DEA Agent Shoots Self in Gun Safety Class
The Drug Enforcement Administration agent was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.


Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards. NAÏVE


As Much Use As...
This web site is as much use as a snowplow in Bangkok ...and other similar useful expressions.


Advertising Slogans
Ever wonder what all that advertising lingo really means?

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