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	As Much Use As... • A condom machine in the Vatican. • A glass cricket bat. • Chucking gravel at an Army tank. • A plate-steel trampoline. • An invisible traffic light. • A silent telephone. • A screen door on a submarine. • A cubic ball-bearing. • A solar-powered foghorn. • Roll-on hairspray. • The 'p' in "recipt." • An inflatable dartboard. • "Keyboard Error, press F3 to continue." • A popgun in Baghdad. • Mudflaps on a tortoise. • See-through mirror. • A pocket in a pair of underpants. • G-rated pornflick. • Chalk on a whiteboard. • A nuclear powered computer controlled intercontinental ballistic duck. Click Here for more As Much Use As...

This Month's Articles...

	All-Purpose Apology Form The most effective method of apology for your next great stupid mistake!

	15 Greatest Metaphors and Similes Here are some not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our students... or at least some very creative ones, at that.

	Fat-free muffins taste a lot better if you put gobs of butter on them.

	Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported.

	DEA Agent Shoots Self in Gun Safety Class The Drug Enforcement Administration agent was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.

	Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAÏVE

	As Much Use As... This web site is as much use as a snowplow in Bangkok ...and other similar useful expressions.

	Advertising Slogans Ever wonder what all that advertising lingo really means?

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