15% of EvilPasta readers claim the ability to cook extravagant pasta dishes while sleeping, blindfolded, and with their hands tied behind their back.
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	Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep RICHMOND, British Columbia (Feb 28 2005, AP) - It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported. Alerted by a passer-by, officers found a man asleep at the wheel of a car with the lights on early Sunday. The motor was running and a screwdriver was in the ignition, Royal Canadian Mounted Police said. The man was sleeping so soundly that police were unable to rouse him by yelling through a bullhorn. When they pounded on the door, he finally woke up, opened the door and emerged with the car in gear. Officers responded quickly to keep the vehicle from rolling away. A quick check established that the vehicle had just been stolen without the owner being aware, police said. The man could make a court appearance as early as Monday on a charged of possessing stolen property and three counts of failing to comply with a probation order.

This Month's Articles...

	All-Purpose Apology Form The most effective method of apology for your next great stupid mistake!

	15 Greatest Metaphors and Similes Here are some not-so-elegantly-put metaphors and similes formulated by the brightest of our students... or at least some very creative ones, at that.

	Fat-free muffins taste a lot better if you put gobs of butter on them.

	Car Thief Caught After Falling Asleep It wasn't hard for the Mounties to get their man in a car theft, even though it had not been reported.

	DEA Agent Shoots Self in Gun Safety Class The Drug Enforcement Administration agent was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.

	Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAÏVE

	As Much Use As... This web site is as much use as a snowplow in Bangkok ...and other similar useful expressions.

	Advertising Slogans Ever wonder what all that advertising lingo really means?

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