MORE Ways To Deal With Stress
Here are additional Ways To Deal With Stress found in previous issues of Evil Pasta:
Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.
Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says "have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Dance naked in front of your pets.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
Drive to work in reverse.
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Polish your car with earwax.
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Braid the hairs in each nostril.
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.
Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
Do your assignments in binary code.
At lunch time, sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
Dont use any punctuation marks
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Have your coworkers address me by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "Third time this week!!!!!"
Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
