Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Have your coworkers address me by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "Third time this week!!!!!" Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Handy guide to modern science:
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