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March 2k5

Edition #11

•Carbs Are Good•

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15 Ways To Deal With Stress
• Dont use any punctuation marks

• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

• Sing along at the opera.

• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

• Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

• Have your coworkers address me by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

• When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "Third time this week!!!!!"

• Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

• Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

• Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.

• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Click Here for more Ways To Deal With Stress!


This Month's Articles...
The Final Exam
EvilPasta University brings you the ULTIMATE final exam. Good luck...

Grading Final Exams
A list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams.


Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
Abbie Hoffman


Cartoon Laws of Physics
The basic laws of physics change completely when we're in the cartoon world...


What Professors Say and What They Really Mean
Language that professors commonly use deciphered for the layman.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.


15 Ways To Deal With Stress
Whimfully helpful stress-management tips... try these!


20 More Ways To Be Annoying
Let's do society a favor by exposing new inventive ways to annoy the heck out of people.

Handy guide to modern science:
* If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
* If it stinks, it's chemistry.
* If it doesn't work, it's physics.


Fresh Hope for Fat Bunnies
LONDON (Apr 28 2004, Reuters): The dangers of obesity to kids may be all over the headlines, but spare a thought for the legions of fat rabbits-- overfed and under-exercised by their doting owners.


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