• Categorizer's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. • Law of Force: Don't force it; get a larger hammer. • Comment on Domestic Tranquility: On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy—but we'll work on it. • Murphy's Law of the Open Road: When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge. • The Murphy Philosophy: Smile—tomorrow will be worse. • Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job -- it's the start of a brand new series of three. • Work Postulate: Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. • Murphy's Law of Distribution of Information: If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. • Law of Research: The theory is supported as long as the funds are. • Rule of the Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. • Complexity Assurance: Any system or program, however complicated, if looked at in exactly the right way, will become even more complicated. • Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws: Everything goes wrong all at once. • Generalization on Economics and Politics: What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics is good politics. • Fourteenth Corollary of the General Law of Dynamic Negatives: No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.
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Murphy's Law 101
• Airplane Law: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Corollary: If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
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