26% of respondents last week claim to have eaten pasta sometime within the past 24 hours.
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Feedback Your feedback will be used to learn how well-liked this article is in comparison to others. • How funny was this article? Use a scale of 5 stars. 5 - bust-your-gut hilarious 4 - quite good 3 - good 2 - average/fair 1 - not good 0 - terrible The Survey II • For how long have you owned a personal computer? less than a year less than two years less than five years between five and ten years over ten years I don’t own one; I'm using some one else's right now. • Want to take the next survey? Click HERE for Survey III. *you*@EvilPasta.com? Tired of junk mail and unreliable e-mail providers? Just want a cool e-mail address? Sign up TODAY for your very own EvilPasta.com e-mail account!

	15 More Ways To Deal With Stress Here are additional Ways To Deal With Stress found in previous issues of Evil Pasta: • Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. • Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa. • Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. • When someone says "have a nice day," tell them you have other plans. • Make a list of things to do that you have already done. • Dance naked in front of your pets. • Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong. • Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals. • Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places. • Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives. • Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead. • Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. • Pay your electric bill in pennies. • Drive to work in reverse. • Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like. • Polish your car with earwax. • Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. • Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. • Braid the hairs in each nostril. • Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." • Write a short story using alphabet soup. • Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail. • Make up a language and ask people for directions in it. • Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper. • Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room. • Do your assignments in binary code. • At lunch time, sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. • Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in." • In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

	Picture Of The Month Sometimes you have to wonder about these fortunes.

	15 "My First Book" Children's Books That Never Got Printed You shouldn't have trouble imagining why these books didn't make it into your local children's bookstore.

	Some Zagat Restaurant Survey Comments Too Acidic for Regular Consumption Based on the opinions of over 250,000 respondents, the Zagat Restaurant Survey provides some caustic remarks that the company's lawyers wouldn't let them print if they named the restaurants. Some are included within...

	It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

	As Much Use As... Twenty creative suggestions for insluting "You're as much use as..." expressions to work into your vocabulary.

	Stupid Criminals: Bank Robber Forgets His Cash Proudly delivering your regular dose of stupid criminal acts, we have this news item for you from Des Moines, Iowa.

	Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. Anamaniacs

	15 Ways To Get Rid of a Blind Date This is the kind of behavior that adds character! Use these suggestions only as a last resort... or as common practice... whatever suits you.

	15 More Ways To Deal With Stress Your second therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. Again, we weren't.

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