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How To Get Away With Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
[It was valid.]
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
[The driver owned the car.]
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in there.
[Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.]
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
[Trunk is opened; no body.]
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
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Position Open: Mother
The World's Oldest and Largest Profession
(Remember... Mother's Day is Sunday, May 9th, 2004.)
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If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Murphy's Technology Laws
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