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The spaghetti noodles are in discontent.
April 2k4

Edition #8

•Linguine Primavera•

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How To Get Away With Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
      [It was valid.]
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
      [The driver owned the car.]
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in there.
      [Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.]
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
      [Trunk is opened; no body.]
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.


Picture Of The Week
An Easter moment. [Click To Enlarge]
An Easter Moment.


Position Open: Mother
The World's Oldest and Largest Profession

(Remember... Mother's Day is Sunday, May 9th, 2004.)

Ways To Be Annoying
More than simply taking the hotel towel...


Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.


If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Murphy's Technology Laws

This is so insane that it just might work.
How To Get Away With Speeding


Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
A. Whitney Brown


Ways To Be Offensive At A Funeral
Somebody might appreciate this... or not...

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