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The Survey
Which mac & cheese do you prefer?
Would you like to take the next survey?
Click HERE for Issue 7's Survey II.
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Be A Contributor!
If you can think of funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com, you're just right for the EvilPasta team.
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Murphy's Law 101
When all else fails, follow instructions.
Anybody can winunless there happens to be a second entry.
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.
Overdoing things is harmful in all cases, even when it comes to efficiency.
If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.
Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.
Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
Check the answer you have worked out once more before you tell it to anybody.
Estimating a figure may be enough to catch an error.
An exception TESTS a rule; it NEVER PROVES it.
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.
When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Click Here for more Murphy's Law 101!
Here are additional entries from Murphy's Law 101 found in previous issues of Evil Pasta:
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
Murphy's Law of Copiers: The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.
Corollary of Inverse Distances: The farther away from the entrance that you have to park, the closer the space vacated by the car that pulls away as you walk up to the door.
Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Army Law: If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
Consumer's Rule: Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman.
Newspaper Obituary Law: If you want your name spelled wrong, die.
Comment on Power and Influence: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Astrology Law: It's always the wrong time of the month.
Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer
provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
The Pyramid Progression: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of (1) a date, (2) his wife, and (3) a better looking and richer male friend.
Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Here are some of Murphy's Military Laws found in previous issues of Evil Pasta:
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
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The town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
Punch Lines: Beethoven
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Nice Try At English
Here are some signs and notices written in English -- more or less -- that were discovered throughout the world.
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Pass This Test
The deputy told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket...
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