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The Survey • When eating macaroni and cheese, which utensil do you use? fork spoon spork chopsticks hands other • Would you like to take the next survey? Click HERE for Issue 6's Survey II. Find Out First! Get an e-mail the moment a new issue of EvilPasta comes out! Sign up HERE!

	Letter To A Future Son-In-Law Dear Tony, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize that motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job. I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park. Sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books. I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses, and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter. Sincerely, Your future father-in-law P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

	Picture Of The Week No deceptive pricing techniques. They advertise it like it is.

	The courtroom is no place for perfection. EvilPasta continues the investigation... Courtroom Bloopers

	Diary Of A Snow Shoveler The snow is prettier when all you have to do is look at it.

	"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

	10 Signs You Need A New Computer Now is the time to face the truth. You really need a new computer. Here are your reasons.

	Just in case you haven't learned from experience... 20 Ways To Go Insane

	For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

	If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Inspirational Posters For The Cubicle Era

	15 Ways To Deal With Stress Your therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. We weren't.

	Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. —unknown

	Letter To A Future Son-In-Law ...sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship...

	EvilPasta's Hot Plate... Contribute! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. To Apply, simply fill out the short form at EvilPasta's Hot Plate. Click HERE!

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