2% of respondents to EvilPasta's polls last week claim to have not eaten pasta in at least one full year!
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The Survey • When eating macaroni and cheese, which utensil do you use? fork spoon spork chopsticks hands other • Would you like to take the next survey? Click HERE for Issue 6's Survey II. *you*@EvilPasta.com Sick of advertisements in your e-mail? EvilPasta WebMail has NO banner ads, NO popups, NO promo messages in your e-mail messages. Sign up TODAY for your very own EvilPasta.com e-mail account!

	20 Ways To Go Insane • Change majors at least twice. • Live in a non-coed dorm for two (+) years. • Drink heavily. • Take both ME and EE classes. • Time manage spontaneity. • Set record time on academic probation. • Solve PI to the last decimal place and/or • Predict female behavior. • Perform "mind meld" on chimp or humanities student. • Get a summer job normally reserved for recently paroled prisoners. • Look for a good party on Sunday night. • Analyze and worry about everything (except what is important). • Constantly remind yourself that humor and a charming personality is better than money or looks. • Try real hard to be funny (people look at you strangely anyway). • Become so bored as to read textbooks in advance. • Continue being nice to people who could really care less... • Continue being mean to people who could really care less... • Do anything with a perfectionist. • Be as weird as possible. • Procrastinate...

	Picture Of The Week No deceptive pricing techniques. They advertise it like it is.

	The courtroom is no place for perfection. EvilPasta continues the investigation... Courtroom Bloopers

	Diary Of A Snow Shoveler The snow is prettier when all you have to do is look at it.

	"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

	10 Signs You Need A New Computer Now is the time to face the truth. You really need a new computer. Here are your reasons.

	Just in case you haven't learned from experience... 20 Ways To Go Insane

	For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

	If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Inspirational Posters For The Cubicle Era

	15 Ways To Deal With Stress Your therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. We weren't.

	Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. —unknown

	Letter To A Future Son-In-Law ...sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship...

	EvilPasta's Hot Plate... Contribute! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. To Apply, simply fill out the short form at EvilPasta's Hot Plate. Click HERE!

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