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The Survey • When eating macaroni and cheese, which utensil do you use? fork spoon spork chopsticks hands other • Would you like to take the next survey? Click HERE for Issue 6's Survey II. *you*@EvilPasta.com? Tired of junk mail and unreliable e-mail providers? Just want a cool e-mail address? Sign up TODAY for your very own EvilPasta.com e-mail account!

	10 Signs You Need A New Computer • It locks up if you type faster than 6 wpm. • It's older than you are. • You can add faster in your head. • The error messages are getting a little too personal. • You glow in the dark if you sit in front of it for too long. • It's heavier than a refrigerator. • Even your grandma thinks it's old and slow. • You tried to donate it, but Goodwill wouldn't take it. • By the time you finish downloading your favorite song, it's not even in the Top 40 anymore. • Your cell phone has better games than your computer.

	Picture Of The Week No deceptive pricing techniques. They advertise it like it is.

	The courtroom is no place for perfection. EvilPasta continues the investigation... Courtroom Bloopers

	Diary Of A Snow Shoveler The snow is prettier when all you have to do is look at it.

	"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

	10 Signs You Need A New Computer Now is the time to face the truth. You really need a new computer. Here are your reasons.

	Just in case you haven't learned from experience... 20 Ways To Go Insane

	For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

	If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Inspirational Posters For The Cubicle Era

	15 Ways To Deal With Stress Your therapist was reluctant to suggest these coping methods to you. We weren't.

	Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. —unknown

	Letter To A Future Son-In-Law ...sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship...

	EvilPasta's Hot Plate... Contribute! EvilPasta is looking for people with a good sense of humor, a spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness to act as regular contributors to our madness. The positions are currently only volunteer, but we promise plenty of recognition, and some sort of fun little compensation in the future. To Apply, simply fill out the short form at EvilPasta's Hot Plate. Click HERE!

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