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The Survey
How far is your home from the nearest true-to-God Italian restaurant? Sorry, but Americanized pizza joints do not apply. Olive Garden is acceptable. Fazoli's is not.
Would you like to take the next survey?
Click HERE for Issue 5's Survey II.
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Be a Contributor!
Got a good sense of humor, spark of creativity, and a hint of randomness?
Be a contributor to the madness!
If you can think of funny things you'd like to see on EvilPasta.com, you're just right for the EvilPasta team.
Be among a select group of contributors who posess the creative and comical talents needed to make it into EvilPasta.com! You'll have access to contribute your funny thoughts, and then get credit for them when they're published.
Apply HERE, and we'll send you further info so you can join in and test your pasta genius.
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10 More Ways to Confuse Your Professor
When your professor gives you a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.
Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that you got confused.
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class more interesting.
Come to class every day wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who you are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"
Get the whole class to show up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that you can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.
Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."
Click Here for more Ways To Confuse Your Professor!
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10 More Ways to Confuse Your Professor
Once again, EvilPasta insists that there's no excuse for boredom in the college classroom. Try these on for size the next time you find yourself desperate for entertainment. Your professor will love you for it.
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![But shhh... it's a secret! [Click To Enlarge]](graphics/secret.jpg)