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Feedback Your feedback will be used to learn how well-liked this article is in comparison to others. • How funny was this article? Use a scale of 5 stars. 5 - bust-your-gut hilarious 4 - quite good 3 - good 2 - average/fair 1 - not good 0 - terrible The Survey • In which of these habits you regularly engage? Check all that apply. pick nose pick ears crack knuckles bite nails bite lips pacing procrastinating smoking moping • Would you like to take the next survey? Click HERE for Issue 4's Survey I. *you*@EvilPasta.com? Tired of junk mail and unreliable e-mail providers? Just want a cool e-mail address? Sign up TODAY for your very own EvilPasta.com e-mail account!

	Only In America... The following are additional entries under the same topic found in previous issues of Evil Pasta: • ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. • ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. • ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. • ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. • ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. • ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. • ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. • ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. • ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. • ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

	Picture Of The Week A Church Blooper

	Airline Humour Who said airline mechanics don't have a sense of humour? Here are some actual actual logged maintenance complaints as submitted by Qantas pilots... and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

	Yes, the sacred make mistakes too, sometimes. And when the mistakes get this outrageous, somebody just has to take note... Church Bulletin Board Bloopers

	If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

	Now, we review another situation in which bloopers can be disadvantageous. What can be said?... one set of bloopers just isn't enough! Courtroom Bloopers

	Signs You Bought A Bad Car Here at EvilPasta, we are committed to being a valuable source for the common consumer. Review these suggestions for contemplating the condition of your newly purchased automobile.

	The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

	Murphy's Military Law (cont'd.) The second part of our series reviewing Murphy's Law as it applies militarilly.

	We can never pass up an opportunity to convey a detrimental view of our own society! A continuation of the oh-so enlightening insight which we premiered in a previous issue. Only In America

	What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

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